About Bum Butter

Bum Butter Chamois Cream FAQs

So, here we have everything you wanted to know about Bum Butter but were afraid to ask.

Hi, I'm Charlie (formerly know as "Charlie the Bikemonger"  a somewhat eccentric bike shop keeper beside the sea in Dorset). I now sell a chamois cream for slapping some on your undercarriage for a happy bottom while cycling.

It’s actually 100% vegan – we don’t make it out of vegans, as they are awkward to harvest…. But seriously it’s made from vegetable and nut extracts… totally 100% natural ingredients. I mean who wants to slap chemicals on their bum?

The main features are that it not only reduces friction, risk of infection, and it’s mildly anaesthetic, but it also smells awesome. What’s more, it’s “Fanny Friendly” and compatible with ladies and their wonderful parts.

The Bum Butter is made in a kitchen on the Dorset Coast, by Sharan. I then bring it up to Hebden Bridge where it gets its labels and other packaging. Again, this job is done in a cottage kitchen. This really is a cottage industry.


Q. What is Bum Butter?

A. Cycling cream, AKA chamois cream is used "downstairs" to prevent friction and infection. Its used by a hell of a lot of cyclists, but rarely talked about.

Q. Is Happy Bottom Bum Butter any good?

A. Yes, it is very good. Happy Bottom Bum Butter is the best chamois cream available. This is because it is the most effective. However it has received many really positive reviews from magazines and customers..

Q. Why do I need Bum Butter?

A. Basically cycling is tough enough without having a sore arse. Who wants a sore arse? By protecting your skin down there from friction you will have a much more comfortable experience. What's more it allows you to cycle day in day out without discomfort. Our own "Bum Butter" also forms a barrier, so if you have already broken the skin, it not only keeps the nasty stuff out, it’s also antibacterial. And finally we add ingredients, natural ingredients I hasten to add, that provide an anaesthetic effect, slightly numbing any pain.

Q. How is Bum Butter applied?

A. Load up a blob of the cream onto your finger and smear it between your buttocks, and behind your :"daddy batteries" (aka nuts, balls, etc). The motion of wriggling around on a bike will help it get to wherever it needs to get. Some folk prefer to apply it to the pad in their shorts, this also works.

Q. How much Bum Butter do I use?

A. Bum Butter goes a very long way... much much further than traditional chamois creams. You need only apply a small amount for a day of protection. Typically 2ml to 3ml is plenty. That is around 1/3 of a level teaspoon.

Q. How long does Bum Butter Last?

A. You should get 50 applications from the big 100ml tub, and at around 4 or more from the 10ml tub. This makes Bum Butter one of the best value chamois creams available. It not only works in a more effective way, it also lasts much longer. It stays effective on your skin for longer, but also you get more applications from a tub. Yeah, sure, other brands give you a bigger tub, but they don't give you more rides. The shelf life of Bum Butter is years. I quote 3 years, but I have personally used tubs that are 8 years old. It does not "go off". However, keeping it in a cool place out of direct sunshine or heat is wise.

Q. Can women use Bum Butter?

A. Some creams are a bit zingy and meant for men only. So read the label. However our own product "Happy Bottom Bum Butter" is "fufu friendly" and compatible with ladies and their wonderful parts. It's a great female cycling chamois cream. In fact its used by several incredibly impressive female cyclists. Lee Cragie does ultra long rides and is a big fan. She is also our national Champion. Karen Darke used it on her armpits (and elsewhere) to get a Gold medal in Rio Olympics.

Q. What does Bum Butter Chamois Cream feel like?

A. Many creams feel like you have unloaded a load of cream into your pants... because you have. It's a weird feeling, and its way better than having your skin ground up. But here's a thing: Happy Bottom is a vegetable butter-like substance, it soaks into the skin, and feels much more normal.

Q. Is Bum Butter Chamois Cream Animal Friendly?

A. Yes Bum Butter is animal friendly. It is not tested on animals. It does not include any animal based ingredients. Bum Butter is vegan. Many other chamois creams use "Lanolin" which is a grease sourced from sheep, and that can involve animal cruelty. You can read more about this here.

You can trust that when you purchase a Bum Butter product you are getting a quality item designed to alleviate skin discomfort without controversies like lanolin. All of our formulas are designed to soothe and protect skin without the risk of any animal derived ingredients.

You can also use Bum Butter for...

  1. Between your toes to prevent stink foot.
  2. On your armpits as a deodorant.
  3. Lip Balm - but don't double dip.
  4. After-sun - it's great for fixing sunburn.
  5. Emergency bike grease or chain lube. Its not great at this but your bike will smell awesome.

Q. Where can I buy Bum Butter?

A. At www.bumbutter.co.uk Simply click here and checkout.

Trade Sales: If you need Happy Bottom Bum Butter in bulk, for your club, event, shop or even something we have not yet thought of... you can now simply buy at trade price from the Bulk Buys department in this webstore.  

UK Distributor: Ison Distribution, 01353 662662, http://www.ison-distribution.com/english/searchresults.php?brand=HAPY&type=brand

Belgium, Germany, France, Nether-regions, Netherlands etc Distributor: